by Bill Sou
What would you do?
Seriously, what would you do if you were in Luis Suárez’s position? The Uruguayan was trying to withstand a Ghanaian onslaught where they had three shots on goal in the very last minute of overtime extra time. The last of those, a header by Dominic Adiyiah, was ticketed for the back of the net and history – the first time an African nation would be one of soccer’s Final Four,
the joy of an entire continent bursting like fireworks because of the impending breakthrough success of the Black Stars in the first World Cup held on the Dark Continent.
Of course, none of that history stuff matters if you’re on the other team. So Suárez, seeing his squad and country facing the short end of what will go down as one of the Greatest World Cup Matches Ever in the History of the Universe, used those two long and gangly vestiges that he isn’t supposed to use in the game, also known as his arms.
Those things prevented Adiyiah’s rebound from passing the goalline, allowing his teammate, incredibly lucky goalkeeper Fernando Muslera, to finally grab the ball. And Suárez paid for the handball with a very harsh penalty: a red card, automatic ejection from the game, and a penalty kick for Ghana. Essentially, Suárez delayed Uruguay’s inevitable defeat.
Except that the penalty kicker, Asamoah Gyan, biffed his PK off the crossbar. I still can’t believe he did it. In fact, I still can’t believe he has done it twice; back in 2006 he failed to convert against the Czech Republic. Gyan is the first player ever to eff up two penalty kicks in a World Cup career.
Hopefully you saw the Shootout That Shouldn’t Have Been, an anticlimax only because it came after the mayhem of the last three minutes of extra time. John Mensah bitch-kicked a softball Muslera barely had to shuffle his feet for; Adiyiah telegraphed a low-left PK that Muslera dove to stop. And Sebastián Abreu’s change-up gave the Uruguyans their first appearance in the semifinals of the WC in 40 years.
I drove home from the Nomad World Pub listening to “Extra Time,” the post-match call-in show on Sirius XM Radio, and I was shocked that so many people were pissed off over Suárez’s handball. People were calling him a cheat and a dirty player. Some people were so infuriated they believe the consequence should be like that for goaltending in American basketball: count
the goal. I may be a footy novice, but all these people have got to calm down. The rules are the rules. Suárez was given a penalty for what he did. I think it’s more than justified, especially given the fact that red cards are given for all handballs, intentional or otherwise. (That law is cut-and-dried, but having a man sent off because a kick just happened to deflect off his arm is brutally
unfair, but that’s for another time.) But even if you think it isn’t, you and I and Suárez and everybody knows the price to be paid for using your hands. How can he cheat if he got caught?
Not that I’m picking a side in this debate. In fact, I again concur without wholeheartedly agreeing with a side. Because there was a small but vocal minority calling in to “Extra Time” not just defending but canonizing Suárez, saying he’s the Man of the Match for that heads-up play. Others bundled the “Hand of Suárez” with the diving and milking fake injuries just to stall
for time as just “part of the game.”
Hogwash. Don’t equate the flopping with Suárez’s handball. The difference is dishonesty. A player is not really injured if he’s carried off the field in a stretcher only to be completely fine once he reaches the sideline, as if the bench carries magical powers. Suárez didn’t hide what he did at the end of the game – how can anyone hide that? And since all handballs are called
the same, it doesn’t really matter if he intended to do that or not. But acting like you were cold-cocked in the face even though you ran into somebody, and managing to get the guy you ambushed thrown out of the game, is nothing like using the rules to your advantage. You’re just lying. And as I’ve said before, the growth of the game in the United States depends on the
elimination on the BS fakery that is endemic in pro soccer.
What would I have done if I were Suárez? I would’ve stuck my hands out to keep the ball away from the back of the net. I’m not stupid. I’m facing the end of my dream of winning the World Cup. There’s a chance that if I’m being a “sportsman” I’ll have fans back home screaming, “Why in the hell didn’t he stop the ball with his hands?” I’ll have death threats leveled against me and my family. This way, there’s a chance, albeit improbable (no one seems to have recorded an all-time percentage; here it says 75% of all penalty kicks become goals) that the opponent doesn’t convert, and being disqualified for the next game is worth it because at least there will be a next game. And for Uruguay, there will be. In fact, because there’s a third-place game, Suárez will get to play in the World Cup one more time.
But look at the replay. Not like it matters, but it’s not as if Suárez thought to himself he’ll turn into a goaltender. It’s the frantic last seconds of a quarterfinal matchup, and the Uruguayans are trying to prevent a game-winning tally that’ll end a dream they’ve had for four years. Suárez wasn’t thinking about cheating; he wasn’t thinking, period. He was acting on reflex – stop this
ball at all costs.
That’s why I don’t think it’s accurate to call that a smart play. A desperate play, perhaps. But I think it’s best to call it the only play Suárez could have done. Don’t use it as part of the bigger picture of why football is great or terrible. Let it stand as the centerpiece to what might be the craziest sequence of events in the 2010 World Cup.
Hey, let’s look on the bright side – at least we’re not bitching about the referee.